I saw you first in a beach community Why i loved you so will never be clear to me I lost your heart in that same beach community I wrote four lines about it and then I just tried to sleep I woke up at four and watched the sunrise I woke up at four and looked in your eyes We sat on the roof our mouths full of flies I would’ve stayed but I didn’t have the time We look in the mirror and we don’t see Anything we like, thats what its like to be me All our lives trying to fix our body’s affair One of these days we won’t even care Finally got the little blue pill Nothing left to do but wait now and fill A father a jester in tudor england In-jokes we don’t realize what we’re saying I saw you last in a beach community Why i loved you so will always be clear to me You took my heart in that same beach community We ran home together and pretended to sleep I don’t know what you want me to say to you It’s not going away, are you? My new tattoo I tried to be like you Gave myself a stick-n-poke tattoo Took the idea from a joyce manor song Now i’ve got a heart tattoo I saw your dad that one time He called you his son And ruffled all the hair on your head As you left i said “goodbye i love you” and thats just what i meant I ended up releasing a third album this month Thats leave a light on, i will get you and the split one And i knew i was dying when i turned 14 All i had to do was figure out the best way to leave And it just wears me out Oh, it just wears me out What do you want me to say to you? It’s not going away, are you? My new tattoo, my new tattoo Our 700th fight song, for you always

like she said I don't have to be evasive about trans stuff cause I told her and my dad about my puberty blocker stuff and I told her “i'm evasive because you always call me weird” and she said, “i'm not calling you weird to be mean i'm doing it to process and to cope because I still see that 5 year old boy who chased iguanas and lizards and frogs and tadpoles and does boy things” and she said she is mourning the loss of that little boy and she is grieving and going through the stages of grief and is scared and said “this is why I need time this is why you springing these things on me scares me” And now And now I think I think I’ll be okay I’ll be okay running away Don’t know where to I could hang at kade’s It’ll be alright Beach life’s nice, alright Beach life’s nice alright Alright If i could just give up the same old hook If i could just give up the same old crook Crook of the neck Some piece of femininity, anything I’d give everything To be the girl that i wanna be The version i want you all to see But i’ll never get there and it’s not that easy Now i see the spotlight, warm and tight And now I’ve only got a few seconds left of my life Sewing myself a dress made of curtain fabric and time Beach life’s nice, alright Beach life’s nice, alright Why’d it take them so long to get it right? They had all their lives to change their minds But you’re grateful for the benches, places to sit down Spending all your life trying not to be found I used to have no problem writing twelve-minute songs And now after writing a punk album Every song lasts a page at best In Duxbury I’d call it boring At night we sing along to MA snoring If i come home I’ll see your bones Skinny kid, Careful kid I have this dream And i wanna show you But first we need to take some LSD (you and jane can’t keep me in the papers anymore)

Breaking glass I broke glass I broke your glass bottle And threw it into the pond by the library You cried as you hugged me, thanked me I’ll never forget Everything said Your body and your free hands Using your keyboard skills to make songs in your bedroom And you say you’ll never share them too Thats okay I don’t need to hear them to know you’re talented anyway My songs don’t have any meaning And if you think they do What the fuck are you hearing? My titles don’t have any meaning I took this one From a song by clipping. Anyway I need your help, your love anyway And this is a love song You know who you are This is a love song And we’re getting older Every day, we get older We just watched a movie on your lawn You said “it’s for our 5 month” And now you’re asleep beside me And instead of holding you I’m writing this song on my phone And you might think that But it’s okay I know need your help or your love anyway My boy My two-headed boy All floating in glass It’s alright, i’ll never pass And then i started flirting with you And i wanna watch two in the moonlight sky Write freak-folk tunes, and make you feel alright Grow my hair out long like yours and dye it crazy colors Oh brie, you got me hanging on again Oh brie, you got me hanging on again What do you want me to say to you It’s never going away, are you? My little tattoos There’s no secret to what i do I just make everything worse, just like you You’d make fun of me For all this self pity But it’s true, and it’s something you knew But until then The summer ends And i know you’ve been through hell And i know i didn’t treat you well And i know you don’t want your name in this And i respect it But until then, the summer ends I’m so ugly But thats okay because i broke the mirrors And took the little shattered bits and then i could hear her Looking at your face in the dark It seems like a work of art Looking at my face in the dark I don’t really look that smart And I probably never will Oh brie, you got me hanging on again Oh brie, you got me fucking hanging on again But listen i’m not complaining We should’ve met in the light We should’ve met at the right time I should’ve i should’ve tried a little harder I should’ve i should’ve just not bothered Thanks for talking me through it last night I hope you know that i care Cause i do, i just don’t know if i should feel this way about you I don’t care either way, i’m never gonna, i don’t know, i don’t know if i can Oh brie, you got me hanging on again Oh brie, you got me you got me No thank you, for now i think i’ll stick to cigarettes I appreciate the projection of all your problems but maybe This doesn’t apply to them Oh brie Oh brie Oh brie, i owe you everything

When we were connected at the hip And you got me through all this shit And that was when we were connected But it’s come time to sever this connection These two of the same mold, Who were together until they were old I just wanted to be one with you I just wanted to be true with you I was so proud to have everything you wanted Cuz we weren’t kissing And we weren’t fucking But we were connected At the back of our necks And things like that never last I can’t get up off the ground Now And that used to be a good thing Something i’d look forward to When i wake up in the early morning I wanna know if i can afford to lose But i can’t get up off the ground, now I can’t do anything anymore, All this pewter that you poured Relentless hate spewing from those closed doors Nothing left but hate and horror Some things are more threats than gifts Somethings eating at the last of my lists And now you can’t get me off the ground Not now Not now

And if push does come to shove You should get on your board and ride around Or you can borrow my bike for a while and ride into town And i could probably hitch a ride down to your street And then borrow your skateboard to get back to M.E And I need to see and I need to speak To you this week. Under the pavement, the beach Things are simple Things upstairs are bleak Under The Pavement Further down the beach Getting to the end of my list of Songs i should revitalise And chords i ought to reutilize Some kind of machine Was making something You work it out Maybe try it around Rearrange, fit in Under the pavement, the beach Things are simple Things upstairs are bleak Under The Pavement Hey! Don’t you feel this way I know we feel this way I’m just trying to get myself alone I can’t still be in love with you I still am and there’s nothing left to do I don’t wanna still be in love with you I don’t know what to do If you could leave Would you stay? A smashed window, glass in your car Please don’t go running off again I see, won't you spend some time with me? I see, you've got something up your sleeve I see, won't you spend some time with me? I see, you have something up your sleeve You can love again​ if you try again Who said would you spend some time with me? I see you have something up your sleeve, your sleeve, your sleeve Thank you thank you thank you thank you

Wait, they don’t love you like i love you Wait, they don’t love you like i love you "He walked out in the gray light and stood and he saw for a brief moment the absolute truth of the world. The cold relentless circling of the intestate earth. Darkness implacable. The blind dogs of the sun in their running. The crushing black vacuum of the universe. And somewhere two hunted animals trembling like ground-foxes in their cover. Borrowed time and borrowed world and borrowed eyes with which to sorrow it."

So young If you are to leave If you are to mourn Do so not alone At just 23 I wish you could’ve sang to me But it’s okay If you are to die, you should know your life Was the best part of mine And if you are to leave Do so with me And hold yourself steady in my bed I hope one day we meet again Somewhere down the line Though I know that it’ll take some time The summer ended the second you left July 7th The day you said i had crossed a line, i guess And then you left And i’m sorry for what i did I feel worse about it every day I’ll be okay Thinking about all our dreams I hate the endings myself But they started with some great scenes I want you I want you to swing with me through the moonlight And sleep all through the midday sky Smoke a little Drink a little Have fun We would’ve been cute together, but its all gone now So now i write freak folk tunes About baby, you I’m helpless I’ve got red, bloodshot eyes You’ve caught me in a vice I don’t ask for advice I’m sure I’ll be alright I don’t care, i can’t slow down now Once i saw you i lost my voice in choosing It’s all for you, my baby you I know i should take it slow Well, she’ll let me know I know the world will be gone for sure Hammers falling from stones Nevermind it’ll be plenty low Well she should be here at a show Nevermind, just let me know I miss the hammers, i want to get stoned I wish i tried a little harder I wish i hadn’t bothered Maybe if i hadn’t said a thing It would’ve gone better I wouldn’t have to write this letter I know i come across like an asshole I know i’m falling in love again And the half-sure love that i choose Is sure in herself and that she cannot lose Did she love you like I do? Did I love you like you? Does she know that you like to be touched? Does she know you like to be loved? And i hope she gives you everything i lack And i hope she gives all your love right back Does she try to make you mad? I hope you’re not sad I hope you two finally get to kiss I hope your love is something i won’t miss I think i’m a wreck Everything’s spinning like a compass I wanted to be your romantic Now i’m alive, i’m over the atlantic I’m not gonna quit with the one i love in sight If only just for tonight I’m doing what i’m supposed to I’m sure it’ll be okay soon Don’t leave, I’m sorry I’ll write another love song I’ll never do anything wrong I could give you what you want I could give you what you deserve I could sing another song I could watch that hammer swerve You can love if you try again...

And i’m alright I just need to try There’s no purpose in anything i do Because it’s all for you All i ever needed was your voice All i ever needed was some sorta lack of choice Like when it’s late at night and you’re getting close And now you feel guilty for something i did Another night in of listening to BLID Clear my fog help me through the mist Give my sorrow some sorta plot twist When i heard “maps” for the first time It followed directly from “flashlight” And the first thought i have when i get in the shower is “Fuck i’m an asshole i deserve to have the wrong body” And the next thought is “But i don’t want it!” And i know that i did bad myself You were mad as hell and I know that If i had kept my mouth shut It could’ve worked out so well And I know you acted so confident Because i hurt you so much I should’ve kept my mouth shut I wish you were here I wish you were happy I wish you were on top of me And laughing I think I think I’ll be okay I’ll be okay running away Don’t know where to I could hang at kade’s It’ll be alright I don’t know what to say when people fall apart I can’t say anything when they break I don’t know what to say when i fall apart A little is all it takes, a little is all it takes And i… Wanna hear you in my bedroom Smiling and laughing And i… Wanna throw lights to cut up shadows around my house And i can smell your perfume all around And i can smell chemicals breaking down And i got your last 80 messages telling me “I just need to sort some stuff out” And now i put beer in my mug I guess I’ll remember this summer as the summer i loved you And you loved me back It didn’t last

I am permanently preoccupied with my past I’ve been close to you long enough to know good things never last I’m only sober because i’d be dead if i wasn’t I only keep chasing things i can’t have because i love it There was comfort in watching you leave There was comfort in hearing the door slam There was comfort in knowing i couldn’t cry i’m an adult I could stand up but i couldn’t man up and i can’t cry cause i’m an adult I wasn’t sleeping i was listening and i was reading And i saw you say “i should be able to distance myself from friends who make me uncomfortable” And i knew you were talking about me So i decided to leave I promised myself i wouldn’t make anyone feel bad anymore I’m the worst person i know I’m sorry i forced you to get so close An apology won’t do anything so it’s okay you have to distance yourself from me Nothing i ever said did anything Maybe i’ll actually find a way to fix everything How dare me, oh how dare me? Half the time i’m crying and the other half the time i’m trying not to cry We could get high We could be smoking pot I could forget i was ever a guy But probably not I am permanently preoccupied with my past I’ve been close to you long enough to know good things never last I’m only sober because i’d be dead if i wasn’t I only keep chasing things i can’t have because i love it I gotta do this now or i’ll never feel alright again I know what you said to me and it was a godsend That maybe i don’t have to feel guilty and that maybe you feel good about me And i miss your chipped black nails And i know thats a tiny little unimportant detail but it’s important to me I feel like you being the subject of this album is a little too clear to see If the roles were reversed i know i wouldn’t have stopped you because I would be scared of myself too And you said “i hope this doesn’t change anything” and i knew you were lying Because as nice as you are i know that you hate me I know when you say “i hate you” ya mean it And when you say “i love you” it’s a lie I’d rather you tell me the truth So i can just die I’m the worst person i know I’m sorry i forced you to get so close An apology won’t do anything so it’s okay you have to distance yourself from me Nothing i ever said did anything Maybe i’ll actually find a way to fix everything How dare me, oh how dare me? Half the time i’m crying and the other half the time i’m trying not to cry We could get high We could be smoking pot I could forget i was ever a guy But probably not I won’t have kids i’ll never put anyone through this Like waking up alone on mornings And staring into an abyss Good vibes, we’re all gonna die I’ll crawl over myself to get to you I’ll run myself over to get to you I don’t want kids I can’t put anyone through anything Like what i went through on those mornings All alone singin and crying