[I. what William said]

you had your back turned to me
to face the water
you were barely sixteen
and still not getting stronger
your chest was caved in,
nothing but bones and skin
and blisters on your face
i wanted to erase
the pain you felt
the one on the windowsill
i felt the warmth of your skin
after all of that, i don't know how to begin
what about all those things we did?
are we moving backwards, inch by inch
a mask of jean, covering you
desert dust, a sign you lose
i miss you, miss you, miss you
desert sand on your jeans
a pair of figures traversing the waste land
i ask you, "where have you been?"
follow me, please take my hand
every wednesday night, the road gets cleared
i lay awake in bed, i get really scared
i miss the days when we were friends
i wait for the day when this finally ends
i heard you and Elle are fucking all the time
i stare into the tv until i go blind
you have to know theres nothing anywhere else
you couldn't learn to hate over here
all the absences in your life will be waiting for you
the things that fill them just wont be clear
four, three, two
i miss you, miss you, miss you
i miss you, miss you, miss you
i wonder what emery thinks of me
i wonder if sometimes he can see
see me as i wish to be seen
but i know exactly what i have to do
don't you?
i have to get up, get moving get talking get walking get biking get up get moving get talking get walking get biking
but i know myself better than i do
i know that theres nothing on that list ill do
i know ill try and only say whats true
but i cant do that
im just a rat
i am a bike left in the rain
i am a bird, flying through the insane
i miss you, miss you, miss you

[II. what William's baby said]

i hung myself with my guitar strings
and counted my remaining fingers by my remaining rings
i am alive today because of the beautiful things
like what it sounds like when she sings
Not that it matters anymore
But what you would do, You would do
I am in love with you
And i’ve only seen your face
A couple times in the past few weeks
I haven’t heard you speak
Since the last week
Of july
You’re on my mind
and all my new friends will leave me
and i dont wanna hang out with you three
ill never be done whining
im going to read now
when i dress white, its pitch black outside
when i dress black, the snow is all over white
i spent my first three days in new hampshire
in the care of my best friends parents
they didnt know but im sure it was apparent
that i was on the verge of death or sleep
and when it comes down to it, i was close to being free
to convey the truth, youd need more than i ever had
to tell everything you wanted me to, id have to know you were glad
to know that you wouldnt see me again
i had a life, a bike, a boy, some friends
its been years, i miss them
when i wake up, the moon is still around
when i go to bed, the sun starts to go down
And I was young, I was thin
I had $6,000 and I loved you
But that wasn’t ever going to be enough
Not ever enough
im awake for no time at all
and i wonder all the time if i did something wrong
but i hate your dad,
he looks at me like im retarded
when im sitting at the cashiers counter
and waiting for my shift to end
he tells me to play my music louder
i hate how he pretends to be my friend
when im putting in my time
abd while youre outside
smoking or smiling or going for a ride
when the time is up, you wont notice me missing
when the time is up, ill miss us kissing

[III. conclusion]

i miss you, miss you, miss you
to know that you wouldnt see me again
i had a life, a bike, a boy, some friends
its been years, i miss them